Suicide Redux
Didn’t kill myself…obviously since I am posting. But the want is still there…sometimes it just seems like the best idea. I just refuse to do it at home and have my mom find me. I would rather do it someplace else and make it look like an accident…something where it will not hurt them as much. Either way me being dead will destroy her, but I think if she can believe it was an accident she would not be as upset. I know that these thoughts should not be on my mind…but sometimes I get pushed so far that I cannot help it. I am ready to just give up…I feel like…I have nothing…I feel like I am where I was when I moved out…soon it will be a year since I have been back home and I have made no progress…I am better off dead.
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